IDidItMyWay

Are you feeling a little dehydrated? Would you care for a drink to wet your throat? Water? Beer? Well what if I told you there may be something better for you. How about a small jar of an 18 year old “pretty girl’s” saliva?

That’s right, some sicko from China has thought of the web’s newest way to make a quick buck by selling saliva from sleeping teenage girls?

“The drool was all collected from 18-year-old pretty girls when they were sleeping. And buyers can pay later after they certified the authenticity of this product,”

Ok this raises two very important questions;
A) how the fuck do you get salvia from a sleeping girl? Even if for some bazaar reason this guy has actually figure out how to, it still doesn’t explain how on earth he would gather enough to fill a small bottle.
B) how the fuck can anyone EVER ‘authenticate’ the product? For all the buyer knows it came from the sellers pet dog.

But ok let’s give this guy the benefit of the doubt and just ‘assume’ that it’s all legit and there are some weirdo’s out there who WOULD buy this, but the fuck would they actually do with it? You can’t exactly put it on the tv and use it for a point of discussion when friends come around now can you…..

Overall after reading this story it really makes me think that if people are willing to buy this crap knowing there is nothing they can do with it once they have it, what’s some other weird shit I can start selling?

Edit: Since the story became popular around the web, they auction site has removed the listing…. sad face : (

There was some competition for this week’s ‘Idiot of the week’ title. At the start of this week I was pretty sure David Carradine hanging himself while masturbating in a Bangkok hotel would be impossible to beat, but as fate would have it another idiot stepped up and snatched the title.

This week an idiotic Israeli woman decided to surprise her mother by purchasing a new mattress to replace her mother’s very old one.  When the Mother found her new gift, rather than smiling, she went fucking crazy telling her daughter how she had around US$1million hidden in the fucking thing.

When she told her daughter about the cash, she rushed outside to retrieve the mattress. But the binmen had already taken it away to the Hiriya dump in the south of Israel.

What a fucking idiot! When the daughter was moving the mattress, did she not fucking see the huge rip in the side or bottom with a shit load of bills tucked in it? Seriously how the fuck could you miss something like?

I’m guessing that as Israel is probably like any other country in the world where neighbours take shit as soon as someone puts it out the front that her mattress probably didn’t even make it to a tip and is still probably in her street. After this story has now gone global she has pretty much given herself fuck all chance of getting that back.

I guess the main thing though is she is not worried about anymore:

My mother told me that I should just leave it, It is a very, very sad story but I’ve been through worse

How the fuck can life get any worse than throwing away a million dollars of your inheritance….. fucking idiot.

Possible one of the strangest stories I’ve ever come across was today’s “Man allegedly breaks into home, licks 11-year-old boy’s belly button”. After reading the head line I checked the calendar to see if it was April fools or some shit today. After discovering that we are actually in JUNE now I had to read the article.

Turns out some fucking 41 year old freak (better known as James Albert Silbernagel) decided he liked the 11 year old down the street a little more than a friend.

Silbernagel allegedly entered the home while the boy was showering and knocked on the bathroom door, asking if he could use the phone again. He asked the boy to open the door and then pulled out a knife and told the boy to take his towel off. When he refused, Silbernagel licked his belly button.

What the fuck? Firstly I guess the most obvious point of this story is the boy has to be the luckiest rape victim in history as how many fucking rapist/killers would accept a lick of the ol’ belly button as replacement for other shit.

In all seriousness though, this type of shit is seriously fucked up. Adults preying on kids are pretty much the lowest of the low. If I was ever elected into government the first change I would is after being caught I would let the kids parents belt the living shit out of him/her/them and only when the parents had had enough they would have “Pedophile” or “Rapist” tattooed bang in the middle of these sick fucks foreheads, to alert other in mates of just how classy they are.

It’s a messed up world we live in these days…

You’ll be on fucking facebook if you’re cool a fucking nerd!! Today while logging in for my weekly facebook visit to see what others in the world have been up to in the past week, sitting at the top, apparently more important than all my friends updates was ‘Soon you will be able to have a username’.

The moment I saw this I think I had a mini fucking orgasm! Well maybe not but I did read on as I thought it must be of some importance to be placed above everything else.

Basically this Friday Night/Saturday Morning at 12:01am facebook will allow its users to register a ‘unique’ username similar to how myspace has functioned forever. What this means is that:

no longer will you have to pass on your facebook id number when you tell friends to add you on facebook

WHAT THE FUCK? Who the fuck has been telling their friends their ID number? On what fucking planet do these people live that their friends find it easier to remember a billion digit ID number then YOUR FUCKING NAME?

Apparently facebook is stressing that you must choose carefully as once you have chosen one you will not be able to change it, for these same reasons until Saturday morning I’ll be compiling a list of fucking awesome names that people who perhaps would have better claim to them then me will be pissed about not getting. Just imagine all the fake friends you can acquire with usernames like ‘bradpitt’, ‘willsmith’, ‘michaeljackson’ and by smacking up a pic of their fucked up heads as your profile pic.

Before you go registering a billion accounts, facebook has delayed anyone who registered to facebook after May31st from competing for names by a week or so. If you want to watch the countdown happen heres the link.