Last weekend while out at a rather expensive upper class restaurant on a date, after a few alcoholic beverages I felt the need to make a trip to the bathroom before desert. As I opened the main door I was surprised to find a couple of old men (easily 75+) making their way to the urinals while chatting with one another.
As per urinal etiquette, I made my way to the furthest one away from the old men although while draining my body, I heard the older men whispering to themselves with “ohhhh” and “ahhhh”. As this was rather a little unusual I decided to slightly look over in their direction (OFCOURSE keeping my level of sight WAY ABOVE what no one wants to see) and noticed one of the men with both hands resting on top of his urinal, I assumed to balance himself.
Although I would never do it and would usually classify the above as fucking disgusting, since this particular restaurant was quite upper class restaurant and the toilets really well kept I thought nothing of it. However the other man was doing something more peculiar, that I have never seen before.
While standing close so close to the urinal that I assume meant his junk was directly over the bowl, he had his two overly wrinkled hands straight up in the air as if he had just won the gold medal for the fucking 100m dash at the Olympics.
After doing all I could to stop from laughing, he luckily finished up but just as I thought it was over her turns to the other guy and says ‘ahh that was a good one!’. At that point I couldn’t hold it anymore and started to laugh although as they were both so old and probably can’t hear for shit neither of them seemed to notice and without washing their hands made their way out.
Overall if nothing more, the whole situation changed my perspective of getting old from a shitty existence where I’m probably wheel chair bound and too old to make it to the bathroom by myself, to instead a vision of doing whatever the fuck I want or feel like no matter where I am or who I’m around without any worries.
Add possibly dating a young as fuck model like chick who is probably just after my money to the mix and it’s clear that heaven is not a place where you go after death, it’s the period of time you experience when your too old for the world to care what the fucking your doing.
Next time your emptying your body, get a taste of good life to come and throw your hands up in the air.