IDidItMyWay

Last week I posted about how some idiot who sold his 14yr old daughter for $16,000, well it now seems that quite possible after reading my post a poor as fuck father of Slumdog Millionaire child star Rubina Ali got the idea to try and sell his nine-year-old daughter too. Now don’t get me wrong when I called him poor as fuck I was careful not to insult his intelligence as this guy is after £200,000 which at the current exchange rate is around US$294,724.

I could easily rehash all my previous thoughts on how selling your daughter probably isn’t the brightest idea a dad should have, so I would rather think how he has valued his daughter as being worth $278,724 more than the other girl.

Sure she is kind of a movie star (well only to people who have seen that movie which is note I) so who would be the potential buyers? Perhaps some semi lonely guy who has always dreamed of dating a movie star, but as she is only 9 at the moment it’s probably a bad investment because if he purchased her today he would have to feed her etc, for at least the next 9 years until he could pull the moves out.

Perhaps there is a desperate couple out there who is unable to currently have children and would love to have one and rather than waiting in an adoption queue they could simply transfer the funds while the dad shipped them the kid? (although shipping is probably not included in the asking price) In saying that it would make even more sense if the couple is super super wealthy and lives in a ‘keeping up with the Joneses’ type street. Because seriously how could any of your fucking neighbors up stage you after buying an underage Indian child actress who was in an Academy Awarded film. There simply is no topping that… is there?

My last possible candidate for the purchase would be none other than Brad and Angelina because maybe just maybe they have a spare spot in their kids of the world collection for an Indian?

A man in California has sold his 14 year old daughter for $16,000. How much of a fucking idiot is this guy, not only is $16,000 a steal for a 14 year old but its fucking inhuman in the times we live in. How this guy could have just put his hand out and taken the $16,000 and walked away without his daughter is insanity. The only thing more comical then thinking about how this guy’s brain manages to wipe his own arse after taking a shit is the thought of what he was thinking he will tell the wife when he gets home minus a daughter. I bet he would have been thinking all types of golden excuses for being daughterless; perhaps “a bright light came from up above and zapped her up, there was nothing I could do”. Or another golden one might be “she turned into a Bat and flew away”.

The arse kicking this man would have got (unless of course his wife is anything like him) would have been something to play the Benny Hill theme too.  But what separates this story from the hundreds that IDIMW readers from Iran and shit probably hear of everyday is the fact that after a week on no payment being received the man was left with no choice other than to go to the cops and explain the situation as he knew they would be sympathetic to him. This would be like a crack dealer getting robbed and crying to the cops about everything that was taken, in fact this guy is so dumb that if he was a crack dealer and got robbed he would try and claim the missing crack on insurance.

Fuck there really are some dumb mother fuckers out there…

Today I read a new story about an American family who beat the shit out of their son and swung him around in the air to ‘get rid of a demon’. Apparently the father originally purchased a statue which he believed was possessed by the devil so he go a budda to bury it. After this he start throwing all his shit over the balcony with the final straw being his 3 year old kid.

Why the fuck do religious people do such weird things? Like that fucking weird Silas in that Da Vinci Code movie with him whipping himself with a metal cilice as a form of corporal mortification. Serious what fucking god wants to see his/her people doing that shit. Or that other fucking idiot Osama and how he is using Religion as a motive to hate American (and Bush at the time). Did bush ever give a shit who Allah was? He probably didn’t even know what the fuck Allah was suppose to be. But it goes to show how promising people something that they can’t prove you can’t offer really works in getting them to do anything.

So this got me thinking of other people doing shitting things and wondering what must make them do it, Strippers, prostitutes do it for the money. Public rest room cleaners do it for the money. This you would say is logical as at least they know they are going to get the money. But when it comes to religious freaks just telling someone they may get something is as good as the real thing in the eyes. I mean c’mon those dickheads who flew the planes in 911, they gained absolutely nothing (that is unless they are still up stairs with all their promised virgins).

But on the other hand how fucking awesome would the world be if everyone in the world (except you of course) operated like this? When going to get some gas at the gas station you realise you don’t have any money so you tell the station clerk “if you give me it for free when you die you won’t have pimples anymore” and bam your gas was free. Or your caught stealing a car and the cop ask if you have anything to say, so you tell him he will get an endless supply of doughnuts when he dies if he forgets all about the situation.

Thinking shit like this now kind of makes me want to join a closed gate cult….

OK, the past week has been a week to remember for me. It has had everything and as of a few hours ago I’m now a house owner. That’s right following on from my last entry about looking for a house over the weekend I found the place that will shortly be lucky enough to call me its owner. Yeah I just missed out on the Aaron Spelling place by this place is possible more awesome anyway.

For starters this place is brand fucking new, so it won’t have any old man smell to it nor will I have to think of some old person bathing or dying in the place before I moved in. It also has quite the view from both of its balcony’s with only a short walk to the harbor. So at first I kind of had no idea how/why on earth they would have sold it to me. But that all soon changed after looking in the mirror I saw again the proof of how awesome I am and thought they would have been stupid not to sell it to me. In saying that I guess there is a strong chance that by having me in the neighborhood the prices of nearby places will double or triple but all in all it’s this place is now mine.

It will probably take a few weeks to get all the paperwork organized but when it does I’ll shoot a picture or two of the surroundings. I might even take a walk around the area to see if I can snap a few other celebs places too.

Fuck it’s going to be awesome.

I’m currently in the market for a home and coincidentally Aaron Spelling or more to the truth Aaron Spellings family has put his crib up for grabs. Probably due to the current recession they are practically giving it away for a cool 150million. In saying that unfortunately on my current salary it’s a little out of my reach so then feeling a little down with my salary and how what I can afford compares to the spelling estate I thought the best way to cheer me up is to laugh at others expense.

So I went on google and typed in ‘homeless house’ and had mixed emotions with the results. On one hand I was smiling thinking how I can afford a house perhaps not a fucking mansion but at least a roof over my head. Then on the other hand I started thinking about how these people would love a fucking upside down box and probably getting sad because they can’t afford a spelling type mansion doesn’t even cross their minds. Stuff like racing to be the first to the bin after I have thrown shit in there because I dropped it on the ground or who can collect the most plastic bags before dark are their biggest concerns and challenges for the day. They must be fucking furious with birds when they get to the bin quicker!!

Conclusion: This has made me feel better; I’m now going to get myself a burger and beer Fuck Yeah!!