IDidItMyWay

A man in California has sold his 14 year old daughter for $16,000. How much of a fucking idiot is this guy, not only is $16,000 a steal for a 14 year old but its fucking inhuman in the times we live in. How this guy could have just put his hand out and taken the $16,000 and walked away without his daughter is insanity. The only thing more comical then thinking about how this guy’s brain manages to wipe his own arse after taking a shit is the thought of what he was thinking he will tell the wife when he gets home minus a daughter. I bet he would have been thinking all types of golden excuses for being daughterless; perhaps “a bright light came from up above and zapped her up, there was nothing I could do”. Or another golden one might be “she turned into a Bat and flew away”.

The arse kicking this man would have got (unless of course his wife is anything like him) would have been something to play the Benny Hill theme too.  But what separates this story from the hundreds that IDIMW readers from Iran and shit probably hear of everyday is the fact that after a week on no payment being received the man was left with no choice other than to go to the cops and explain the situation as he knew they would be sympathetic to him. This would be like a crack dealer getting robbed and crying to the cops about everything that was taken, in fact this guy is so dumb that if he was a crack dealer and got robbed he would try and claim the missing crack on insurance.

Fuck there really are some dumb mother fuckers out there…

OK, the past week has been a week to remember for me. It has had everything and as of a few hours ago I’m now a house owner. That’s right following on from my last entry about looking for a house over the weekend I found the place that will shortly be lucky enough to call me its owner. Yeah I just missed out on the Aaron Spelling place by this place is possible more awesome anyway.

For starters this place is brand fucking new, so it won’t have any old man smell to it nor will I have to think of some old person bathing or dying in the place before I moved in. It also has quite the view from both of its balcony’s with only a short walk to the harbor. So at first I kind of had no idea how/why on earth they would have sold it to me. But that all soon changed after looking in the mirror I saw again the proof of how awesome I am and thought they would have been stupid not to sell it to me. In saying that I guess there is a strong chance that by having me in the neighborhood the prices of nearby places will double or triple but all in all it’s this place is now mine.

It will probably take a few weeks to get all the paperwork organized but when it does I’ll shoot a picture or two of the surroundings. I might even take a walk around the area to see if I can snap a few other celebs places too.

Fuck it’s going to be awesome.

I’m currently in the market for a home and coincidentally Aaron Spelling or more to the truth Aaron Spellings family has put his crib up for grabs. Probably due to the current recession they are practically giving it away for a cool 150million. In saying that unfortunately on my current salary it’s a little out of my reach so then feeling a little down with my salary and how what I can afford compares to the spelling estate I thought the best way to cheer me up is to laugh at others expense.

So I went on google and typed in ‘homeless house’ and had mixed emotions with the results. On one hand I was smiling thinking how I can afford a house perhaps not a fucking mansion but at least a roof over my head. Then on the other hand I started thinking about how these people would love a fucking upside down box and probably getting sad because they can’t afford a spelling type mansion doesn’t even cross their minds. Stuff like racing to be the first to the bin after I have thrown shit in there because I dropped it on the ground or who can collect the most plastic bags before dark are their biggest concerns and challenges for the day. They must be fucking furious with birds when they get to the bin quicker!!

Conclusion: This has made me feel better; I’m now going to get myself a burger and beer Fuck Yeah!!

Last week I came across an Australian news story where a man has been charged with possessing child pornography because he had pictures of The Simpsons and Pokemon naked and performing sex acts on each other.

What the fuck has the world seriously come to when pictures of cartoon characters are being classed as bad as true child pornography photographs.  Judging from this case if you or I opened MS Paint, drew a stick figure baby with big tits or a dick we could probably be charged with producing child pornography. Even worse if we sent it to a friend with a funny joke on it (perhaps his/her name) we could also be charged with distribution of child pornography meaning a fucking lengthy jail sentence.

This world is every day becoming more fucked up; some people who are making the important decisions in the world are simply fucking everything up instead. If I was president or prime minister I would make everything so fucking awesome…  hmmm perhaps I should start a political party now that I have so much spare time at the moment.

Lately I have been seeing more and more old people still working in places like McDonalds and shit. It could be due to current state of the world financially or it could be because they think they aren’t old.

Every second week on tv and in the papers there are news stories that 40 is the new 30, 50 is the new 30 and I’m presuming before the end of the year 100 will be the new 30. Fuck why can’t people get over getting old. Just because the paper says your age is the new 30 doesn’t mean you’re not going to die soon.

Another thing I can’t fucking stand at the moment are MILF wannabes. Who the fuck out there are they serious fooling? When I see them the first thing that comes to mind is ‘dirty old slut/hooker’. You all know the ones I’m talking about… the ones who wear mini shirts with cellulite and shit shaking all over the place when they walk in front of you. It’s the absolute fucking worse when you behind them going up and escalator. I literally have to look in another direction to stop myself from throwing up all over the fat legs.

Don’t get me wrong I’m sure it’s not just and old woman issue. I also can’t stand shithead men who for some reason or another think they live in Hawaii and must wear the huge Hawaiian shirts while shopping with their fake blonde wives.

When I get old all I’m doing every day is smoking a pipe, getting shit drunk and ‘accidently’ forgetting to pay for shit while out shopping. Fuck I can’t wait!!