IDidItMyWay

There was some competition for this week’s ‘Idiot of the week’ title. At the start of this week I was pretty sure David Carradine hanging himself while masturbating in a Bangkok hotel would be impossible to beat, but as fate would have it another idiot stepped up and snatched the title.

This week an idiotic Israeli woman decided to surprise her mother by purchasing a new mattress to replace her mother’s very old one.  When the Mother found her new gift, rather than smiling, she went fucking crazy telling her daughter how she had around US$1million hidden in the fucking thing.

When she told her daughter about the cash, she rushed outside to retrieve the mattress. But the binmen had already taken it away to the Hiriya dump in the south of Israel.

What a fucking idiot! When the daughter was moving the mattress, did she not fucking see the huge rip in the side or bottom with a shit load of bills tucked in it? Seriously how the fuck could you miss something like?

I’m guessing that as Israel is probably like any other country in the world where neighbours take shit as soon as someone puts it out the front that her mattress probably didn’t even make it to a tip and is still probably in her street. After this story has now gone global she has pretty much given herself fuck all chance of getting that back.

I guess the main thing though is she is not worried about anymore:

My mother told me that I should just leave it, It is a very, very sad story but I’ve been through worse

How the fuck can life get any worse than throwing away a million dollars of your inheritance….. fucking idiot.

This week it was all over Australian News that some middle aged mother while visiting Thailand thought it would be a good idea to steal a bar mat. Not just any bar mat but a bar mat from the ‘Aussie Bar’, why the fuck would this idiot want to steal a bar mat she could buy at her local supermarket in Australia? Upon being asked by an undercover Thai police officer she decided to make a run for it down the beach which I can only imagine would have been great to watch from a spectators perspective.

When caught she had the bar mat in her pants. Again what a fucking idiot, the news coverage was constantly portraying her as just an average family mum who has never done anything like this before, well who the fuck cares I just wish the Thai police gave her a few with their batons when they caught her so at least then she would have a reason to have her saddy sad face on all day while cameras are filming her.

Idiots don’t normally act alone, and to earn this stories idimw’s idiot of the week title it was greatly helped by her stupid fucking Australian family ‘offering money to Thai authorities’. So not only did this idiot think she could somehow outrun a police officer who has quite possible been running from all kinds of shit their entire life, but now her family thought a few bucks in an envelope should settle the debt.

Since the story has broke she has been freed and back in Australia, she was given a AUD$30 fine and a good behavior bond which is complete bullshit, she will probably ‘sell her story’ and make thousands off this shit now.

Overall having seen what happened to her in the end it kind of makes me want to go and do it so I can make a few grand too doing interviews…. fucking tramp.

It’s Friday so that only means one thing for me now, Idiot of the week and although last week’s idiot set the bar pretty high this week’s idiot also brings with him something to the table.

On Thursday it was reported around the world that 32-year-old Jesse Fierstine decided that he would like to kill his old man so how better to do it than hit him over the head with a flashlight and a piece of firewood then using his old scout pocket knife cut his dads pacemaker out.

What a fucking idiot, what the fuck was his trying to do? You know that this idiot probably was reading some shit online about how a pacemaker can explode inside someone so thought by cutting it out it would look like it was blown out… that has to be it right?

The thing that puts this idiot on my list opposed to other killers this week is that he fucking failed! His dad fucking survived…. how the fuck can you not kill someone when you’re cutting out the one fucking thing keeping them alive. If this idiot inherited his brains from his old man just imagine when the dad woke up, looked down and while seeing a hole in his chest the size of his pacemaker, thinking what the fuck happened…. have I been robbed?

For awhile now I have been trying to this of a weekly theme which I would do every Friday afternoon which would keep all you fuckers happy. I thought about girls of the world but it’s already done. I thought of awesome T-shirt of the week, done. These are just two of many ideas, but just as I thought the is nothing out there cool enough for me to post on a regular basis BAM an idiot come my way and has given me the theme of Idiot of the week where every Friday I’ll point out some idiot who has done something that everyone else can point and laugh at.

Week 1 we are starting off with a idiot of grand scale the ‘Washington Nationals’ or should I say ‘Natinals’. In a game last Friday against the Florida Marlins players were seen in misspelt team jerseys. How the fuck does someone screw this up? They are a professional fucking baseball team competing in the most popular sporting competition in America yet some idiot obviously can spell the Team name.

I so fucking wish this had happened to either the Red Sox or White Sox instead though, just imagine how much more fucking awesome it would have been if some idiot used E instead of the O.