IDidItMyWay

Last weekend while out at a rather expensive upper class restaurant on a date, after a few alcoholic beverages I felt the need to make a trip to the bathroom before desert. As I opened the main door I was surprised to find a couple of old men (easily 75+) making their way to the urinals while chatting with one another.

As per urinal etiquette, I made my way to the furthest one away from the old men although while draining my body, I heard the older men whispering to themselves with “ohhhh” and “ahhhh”. As this was rather a little unusual I decided to slightly look over in their direction (OFCOURSE keeping my level of sight WAY ABOVE what no one wants to see) and noticed one of the men with both hands resting on top of his urinal, I assumed to balance himself. Read more…

On Saturday while walking around Circular Quay in Sydney I noticed an above average looking chick holding up one of those ‘free hugs’ signs that were all over the tv years ago, as I got closer I noticed there was even an old dude with the same sign right next to her. Amazed by the situation and contrasting choice available, I stood there staring to see what kind of people want hugs from these sign baring strangers while also pondering why these idiots would waste a perfect weathered Saturday to let complete fucking strangers feel them up.

Don’t get me wrong, hugs can be alright when you know the person or they can even be a pretty smooth way of trying to get in with a chick at a club (you know the ‘heyyyyyyyy’ hugs) but in both cases you have the choice of who you are/attempting to hug. Not in these idiots case, they are standing their inviting any fucking body to come and get in grab/squeeze. Read more…

Today while cruising around the net avoiding work at all cost lead me to possible the most intriguing person online in years. This little guy calling him self ‘chickenlittle’ not only looks like an extra from some kids alien’s movie but he also possesses the additional flare of a black gangster attitude.

The questions I have to ask are what the fuck is up with this guy? How fucking old is he? But more importantly why the fuck is this guy not a household name yet?

After watching some of his clips I was on the edge of seriously pissing my pants as he provides golden quotes while he abuses people for providing classic comments such as saying he has a penis on his stomach.

You saying that I got a penis on my fuckin stomach, how bout you huh! How bout that….

or

If you have a problem with me, say something to me, don’t comment on my shit!

How the fuck has this kid/man got access to the internet as you can hear his parents in the background on some of the vids. His bedroom truly looks like that of a 5 year olds with Disney stuff everywhere. If Mike Myers made mini me an international celebrity overnight in Austin Powers let’s hope Youtube does the same for this little gangstar retard.

Click here to view all his clips you fuckin bitch, but don’t mention the penis on his stomach he gets a bit sensitive.

Over the weekend I’m walking around the shopping mall and see this gem in front of me. Obviously the first question that pops into you head when seeing the image on the right is ‘how fucking proud must her parents be?’ right? Maybe not but just imagine your daughter comes home and tells you that her leaving school early to pursue a modeling career is finally paying off as she has been given her lucky break for a magazine cover.

The following month you look through all the men’s magazine covers but nothing, you hate to think of it but you then go to the porn mags to find her but still nothing, accepting she may have been bullshitting, you start to walk out the store and stumble across some chick holding a dirty big fish in her bikini, you laugh then realize it your damn daughter. I can only imagine that’s what happened in this case.

The only thing worse than thinking about what kind of girl would fucking even agree to this shit, is thinking about the fucking polesmokers that would buy this shit. “Your Fishing Bible”…. I think not, although had the bible included chicks in bikinis then perhaps I may have paid a bit more attention to it back in the day before google made finding that shit so easy of course.

Although at almost $20 a copy I’m assuming it must be favourable for those really manly men who really do like their woman smelling of fish….. fucking sicko’s

Over the weekend a news story came out that 6yr old boy took the wheel while his dad a Diabetic Episode. How fucking cool is this kid, yeah sure he fucking got the left over’s from the bottom of the barrel in the looks department  (either that or was trying to be an extra for Benjamin Button) but he has just got himself a get out of jail card with the old man for eternity. Basically any time things aren’t going his way he can pull out the old ‘but I saved you life’ card which can’t be topped.

The only thing better than this for him at the moment is when his parents get on his back about doing homework instead of wasting all his time playing video games he now has a strong argument for a “I’m studying to save lives right here, maths isn’t going to save anyone” response.

Extra thought, by the looks of the kid, the dad’s probably a heavy drinker so probably passed out rather than had any diabetic shit….