IDidItMyWay

No matter what kind of man you are, no matter how much money you have or earn, no matter how good looking or ugly you are… all of us at times lose control of our dicks when we least expect it.

At some point in your life you have been in public somewhere and without invitation your dick has just all of a sudden decided to check what’s up.

Remember back in high school when this shit would happen, it was always when you least expected it too for no fucking reason at all and the only way to regain control of you member was by thinking of the golden girls having a shower together just so you could fucking stand up again without detention. Read more…

If I was to ask a bunch of kids what the coolest way to die would be, I’m guessing most would say something like in a race car at full speed, in a shootout with cops while doing a heist, or perhaps drowning in a chocolate pool.

Well this week one lucky unlucky man came as close as possible to the third option. Vincent Smith Jr, 29 while working at Willy Wonka’s a chocolate factory stepped through an opening in the ground and fell into a vat filled with boiling chocolate that was in the process of being mixed.

How fucking bad/good would it be to die this way, apparently as soon as  he fell in he was screaming for help and you can just imagine chocolate was probably filling his mouth, so while yes he was in pain he probably was also having a sweet little snack.

But what is most concerning for me is where the fuck were the oompa loompa’s and why didn’t they try to help this guy? Were they on a break? Did he steal some candy prior to this? Also why was he even yelling, sure the vat would have been extremely hot but when I saw this very same thing happen in the fat kid in the movie he didn’t even scream at all.

Overall I guess the moral of this story is, don’t believe everything you see in a “kid’s” movie, unless it involves vampires and shit because everyone know ‘twilight’ is real… right?

With the current global economy the way it is, it can be hard to make an honest buck. Well this may be the case for most of us but not a New Zealand teenager who thought selling nude pictures of his fucking mom would be a good idea.

It all began when he was originally told by his mom to clean out their garage, not thrilled to do this the teenager requested to be paid but the mother responded with:

I’m not paying you, but you can put what you can sell on trade me (ebay) if you want some money.

Upon sorting through the crap he came across the 5 semi nude/ nude pictures, and rather than throw up on them like every normal teenage dude he thought he would instead stick to his mom’s advice and see what he could fetch for them online.

Is this kid fucking retarded? Did he not think that one of his friends or possible someone at his school would buy them for a few bucks and seriously make this kids life complete fucking hell for maybe um…. FOREVER!!

I mean fuck, seriously just imagine some kid at your school is selling pictures of his mom to make a quick buck, you buy that shit now while he is desperate and you have something over him for the rest of his fucking life. If I was back in high school and couldn’t afford the asking price I would have fucking pooled money together just to make this dickheads life hell.

But wait for it…. no one can disagree that this shit is fucked up, but what if I told you that the Mom was actually cool with it after finding out!

Upon finding out mom was at first pretty shocked, but then she went along with it and asked for 50% of the sale. I just wanted a bit of extra cash, we’re not rich or anything.

How can I even fucking comment on that…….

In 2007 the ‘Bhut Jolokia’ chili was confirmed to be the hottest chilli is the world. It is suppose to be up to 1,000 times hotter than commonly used kitchen chili. There is a ton of youtube videos of idiots trying to eat one with most failing.

Anyway today I was reading a story about how Indian scientists are going to put the chili powder into hand grenades in the hope the devices will be used to control rioters.

This is so not going to work, I say this because we all know how fucking painful it is when you get an average chili it in your eye and how instead of ‘calming’ you down it fires you the fuck up!! So rioters who are already rioting will react to the extra strength with additional strength.

But the ideas don’t stop there, they are also planning on spreading the powder on the fences around army barracks in the hope the strong smell will keep out animals.. are they fucking stupid? Why would they even bother doing this shit, I’m sure that all the fucking rotten incense they are constantly burning already keeps away any living thing.